Why It’s Wise to Plan Ahead

Much as we don’t like to think about it, death and loss are natural parts of living. Sooner or later our cherished pets will grow old, become seriously ill or sustain an injury that can’t be fixed.

Because the life spans of most domestic animals are naturally shorter than our own, it is quite likely that at some point each of us will experience the death of a pet, Accepting that reality gives us a great deal of control over how we’ll handle the situation when it arises, because we can choose to plan ahead for it. We don’t have to wait until we’re overwhelmed with grief to think about the practical aspects of pet death and body care, and how we could best preserve and honor our pet’s memory thereafter.

Whenever an animal dies, someone must decide what to do with its remains. Although the responsibility for that decision rests with the pet’s owner, oftentimes it is left to the veterinarian to make such arrangements. A distraught owner struggling to cope with the trauma of loss is not in the best position to ask intelligent questions and make an informed, well thought out choice about body care. Although ethically obligated to answer all your questions, your veterinarian may not have the training, facilities or time to provide sensitive after-death pet care. And when the time comes, if you don’t already know what questions to ask or what your preferences are, your pet’s body may not be disposed of in a manner that’s acceptable to you.

Using this information as a guide, we encourage you to think through what you want to do with your pet’s remains while your pet is still young and healthy, before illness, injury or old age strikes.

Even if your pet’s death is sudden and unexpected, be aware that you still can arrange to have your pet’s body held in a refrigerated room or a freezer for a reasonable period of time, until you’re better able to think clearly and decide what to do. Ask whether your veterinarian provides this service, or can refer you to someone who does.

We suggest that you consider your preferences for body care thoughtfully and carefully. Options include disposal, cremation and burial. The information listed describes these options in detail, including advantages and disadvantages of each. We urge you to investigate these options in advance, so that you understand the methods and costs involved. It will give you peace of mind to know that the choices you’ve made are informed ones — not ones made in haste and when your mind is clouded with grief. Avoiding these decisions or leaving them to somebody else when the time comes only adds to your pain and prolongs your grief. Taking responsibility for the situation lets you prepare yourself for your loss long before your pet dies. Ask yourself how you want to feel when you look back upon the arrangements you’ve made. What treasured memories can you make now that will later give you comfort and peace? Even if you know your pet’s death is imminent, you can make the remainder of your time together very special. Talk with fellow animal lovers or specialists in pet bereavement, who understand the bond you have with your pet and can help you decide what to do. Embrace the short time you have left with your pet by spending quality time together. Indulge in your favorite activities. Take lots of pictures — and as one pet owner said to us, “When you think you’ve taken enough, take some more!” Take snapshots, videos, even a professional portrait like. Take a clipping of your pet’s fur. Preserve a paw print. Save a feather. Find and read some of the excellent books written for grieving pet owners. (See Recommended Readings at the end of this information)

Sorting Out Your Own Values and Beliefs

Facing a major loss usually causes us to confront and rethink our basic beliefs about God, religion, death and the afterlife. While some of us turn to God as a source of strength at the time of a beloved animal’s serious illness or death, others question the religious faith we grew up with. Some of us may have had no religious upbringing at all, yet still feel abandoned by God or angry with God for letting our pets get sick and die. Not all people respond to loss in the same way, and not all people share the same cultural, religious or spiritual beliefs about death, body care and the afterlife. We all have our own viewpoints on these matters.

Many of us wonder where our pets “go” when they die, whether our pets have souls, or whether we will reunite with our animals in an afterlife. Much has been written by clergy and others on the subject of animals having souls and whether animals go to heaven. Although we cannot resolve this issue for you, we do believe that, like any other tool, religion can be used or abused. Whether your own faith will be a help or a hindrance to you depends on what you believe and how you practice your beliefs. After all, religion can be used in healthy, appropriate ways, or it can be abused in unhealthy, inappropriate ways.

As you think about the care of your pet’s body after death and consider all the options available to you, keep in mind that whatever you decide to do with your pet is the right decision, so long as you feel comfortable with it.

How do you “get comfortable” with this important decision? First, try not to rush into anything (or allow yourself to be rushed into a decision by someone else, no matter how good their intentions.) Otherwise you may do something you’ll come to regret later. You are the one who must live with the consequences of your decisions. Approach matters when you’re calm, and feeling in control of your emotions. Consider your current and future circumstances, including finances and lifestyle. And examine your own beliefs, so that whatever you decide will be consistent with your value system.

Many of us haven’t even thought through what we believe about our own death, let alone that of our companion animals! It’s difficult to confront and resolve our own feelings about death, dying, loss and grief. Yet getting in touch with these feelings and clarifying our beliefs will shape how we’ll decide to care for our pets after death, as well as how we’ll feel about our decisions later.

If you believe that animals have spirits or souls, what happens to your pet’s body after death may not be as important to you as the quality of life you gave your animal beforehand. You may even think that resources set aside for after-death body care would be better spent on animals already living and in need of loving care.

On the other hand, you may believe that your pet’s body should be treated with the same dignity and respect accorded any other departed family member, and to do anything less would dishonor your pet’s memory.

If your pet is very large, such as a llama or a horse, the difficulty and cost of burial or cremation may be prohibitive, and those harsh realities must be considered also. (One alternative is to cremate or bury only a portion of your animal’s body. You may wish to keep the wool from your llama — or save the horseshoes and clip some of the hairs from your horse’s mane or tail.)